16 month old boys.

My little nurslings. I can't believe we have made it this long nursing. I would say my experience breastfeeding twins is finally coming around. Eight months of pure hard hard work. Emotions, sleep deprivation, stress, worry, insanity. Eight months after this, pure bliss. Cuddles, sweet faces, comfort, peace, laughter. Lots of laughter. I don't know how much longer we will go. "Lucky is the child who breastfeeds past 2 years." - Yearnly. US Surgeon General 20+ years. We will see.

I know some are worried about this incredibly awesome, yet embarrassing photo being on the web. Don't worry. I fully intend on this picture being in their senior video.

I love you, boys. It is so amazing that you came at the same time.

Hello hot weather. I can't run without getting a headache. I hope I adjust soon.

My boys. These days are hard days. I can't seem to keep these three tornadoes from demolishing our home. I finally had my fill tonight when Graham and Nolan got into a cabinet whilst I was outside collecting eggs. When I saw the kitchen I wanted to scream. I ran into my bedroom and grabbed my running shoe and bit down and yelled all in one. My yell wasn't so muffled. This shut me up. I turned around and saw six little eyes piercing me. I took the chance to show them how to be frustrated and I said, " IM MAD! MAD! MAD!" and stomped my foot. My anger was gone as quickly as it came. Still all three are watching with their bottom lips on their necks. I furrowed my brow and continued my emotion training. They are boys, I really want them to get this. Finally Nolan got a sparkle in his eye and started laughing and stomping. He looked like a little marching monkey toy. I locked them in my room and didn't let them out until bedtime. Just kidding, I locked them in my room to play with my jewelry and I picked up the kitchen. I feel like I just follow them around picking up what they drop. At this point I realized that I would either keep losing my cool and eventually react badly toward them, or I could step back and try to grasp what really matters. I know what really matters. What matters is that each of them never feel like they are trying to reach my high expectations. I don't want to be that kind of mom. What I have seen in my own life is that usually the person trying to meet other's expectations tuckers out and stops caring. The person with the high expectations is left feeling neglected. Usually because they never realized the standards they had unknowingly set.
I will expect lots from my boys, but right now most of them are still Neanderthals and the other is a professional play person. So I will let the Neanderthals and the Player do their thing. Both stages consist of destruction and mess. Here we go. I will, in the mean time, sit back and try to watch them learn and grow instead of sticking my head in a cabinet to organize the back portion that no one cares if the pot lids are aline with the pots accordingly.

Fynn's Hospital Birth

I feel like I should go way back for this story. My husband and I had been married for 14 months when I came down with a terrible "stomach problem". I remember being on a Girls Weekend with my  cousins when after a massage I started to feel awful. This was on a Saturday. It never hit me to take a pregnancy test until Tuesday. Wednesday afternoon I closed the bathroom door while my husband waited on our bed. I did my thing thinking all of the What Ifs. My plan was to let Adam look as the test developed but I couldn't move while looking at the lines appear.

June 12

  All of May is gone and no log. But very understandable. So much has happened. Let's start with Fynn's birth story:

It's May 1st Sat. Adam and I are enjoying the morning as we always do, sleeping in and snuggling. When nothing abnormal, I had to pee. No lights on , my eyes weren't even open. All of the sudden I hear what sounded like a frog leaping into the pater below me! I turned on the light and looked.... nothing. "oh well," I thought. I turned the light off and got back into bed. Not long and I had to go AGAIN. When I got up I knew something had happened. I called Jaimee to ask about water breaking and I was starting to get excited. Adam woke up to the news. It wasn't registering to him that we would have a baby in the very very very near future.He kept asking me to let him lay there and let him think a minute. haha. I thought, "you've had 9 months."
I took a shower, got packed, but still no labor pains. Adam had started to come to reality and was getting excited. He called his work to tell them the news and we prepared to go to OKC. Ot was only 10Am so we stopped at POPS to walk around and induce my labor. I had so much fun there. It was great spending alone time with Adam before the big event. We left with no results. So off to the mall! At this point we had called family and friends. ALL DAY we spent trying to get labor going, but no results. Finally at 8PM we checked into the hospital. I got an IV first thing. I almost passed out. I was trying to be tough. After I got over it we were put into a large beautiful birthing suite. I was put on a low dose of pitocin (I wasn't happy with). Friends and Family started to show up. First it was Ashley with her camera. She took over 350 pictures in the end I think! Denise, Tommy, Jaimee, Meredith, Haley, Adam J, Junior, (probably missing some) all visited while I started to feel stronger and stinger contractions. They were getting so stron at 5 AM that I had an epidural. Finally I got some rest and around 730AM we started to get ready to push.
 It was the most amazing experience of my life. The nurse (Amy) and Adam were so supportive. It was very hard, but I wanted to meet Fynn so bad. Adam coached me and encouraged me throught the while pushing phase! He was so excited. I've never seen him act so crazy! Our Dr came at the last to give me the extra "Push" and he was there. All 7lbs, 8oz of the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It was 9:14AM. Fynn looked like a wildcat trying to escape! So full of energy. They put him up on my chest and I immediatley started to cry for joy. It's a feeling I can't explain, but mother's have told me about.
In the next 2 days adam and I had a blast. So many visitors came to see Fynn. At the end of the night Tom and Jaimee would come down and we would laugh for hours.
Taking care of Fynn felt very natural to both me and Adam. He ate so good from the beginning and was a good little boy. We drove home to Stillwater and stopped at McDonalds (we hate McD) to finally get something to eat.
The next weeks changed me. Feeding every hour and half! I was so exhausted. I didn't have any post labor pain and Im thankful. I would cry at the drop of a hat, but it was a cry of joy. I was so happy. And still am. we moved at the end of May. and now I sit here at 7AM after nursing my baby a totally changed women. I love being a mother.

3 under 2.

My little guy turned two this last weekend. I wanted to finish laying down this blog post mostly because I want to always be riminded of how I survived! I know I will look back one day and think "how in the world did I have three boys all under the age of two?". This should be interesting because I can't remember anything. Since the boys have been born everything is such a blur. In the beginning my husband was home, thank the Lord! I remember being so afraid of the day he would have to go back to work and leave me with all three. The twins and I were learning how to breastfeed. It didn't seem like either one really ate anything until they were several weeks old.  I remember feeling so desperate for them to start eating well.  I will always be grateful to a selfless mother that donated her breast milk to my boys! She gave me a whole stash to have in my freezer of the best milk they could have. This allowed me to calm down about making enough and as soon as I was able to relax the milk started coming for me! Now at 3 months old we are exclusively breastfeeding! And loving it! Even Fynn loves to come sit by us and tell the boys "good good" while they eat. We wake up at 7ish now.  love to hear Fynn's stomps as he jumps out of bed to come find me and give a big hug. He is just so happy to see the day! We survived.